Sunday

Today is one of those days I feel I should be doing something and nothing fits. I look around me, start a million little things, and it's all so... empty.

What is there with sundays? It's a null day. Void, suffocating. No matter what you do, it feels like time slips through your fingers. Like the world doesn't really wake up today.

Sunday is like being in an elevator with a neighbor you've seen twice - after he greets you and makes a comment about the weather, there's only an awckward feeling of displacement left.

Well, in my case it could be barely anyone in the elevator with me; the feeling would be the same. Most people are like sundays in the week of my life...

Spring equinox

I took a walk outside, today. Spring has arrived at last.

In the past week I could already smell it in the air - the green leaves, the small wild flowers, the warmth. Little butterflies dance under the mild sun, birds sing louder. And people seem...happy. You can almost see the coldness melt from their expressions right in front of your eyes. Slowly, heavy overcoats and scarfs are replaced by colorful and lighter cotton clothes. Children come out to play in the parks, where new and varied shades of green and yellow decorate the scenery.

And yet, the world hasn't changed; not literally. Everything is the same as two weeks ago. Those who had nothing to eat still starve; those who lost a dear one still grieve... But hope arises from everywhere you look. Spring is a promise of a new beggining. Rebirth... Ressurrection.

Those meanings remain in the christian's Easter celebration (although today it has a lot more to do with selling chocolates). To those who still celebrate the Ostara the old celtic ways, this is a time when life returns after a long, cold winter. And even if you don't celebrate anything at all, is hard not noticing how your body welcomes the season change. Animals, plants, insects, people... we all feel it. At some level.

Right now I see outside my window a dozen sparrows fluttering around a tree, singing. There's a couple embracing tenderly in the middle of the park and an ancient woman walking toward the sun, to sit under its warm fingers. The breeze brings me a scent of roast chicken and plants. And the life growing inside of me moves to the sound of a soft melodic song. She knows it too, I think. Spring has arrived at last.

Question

If "love lift us up where we belong", why do we fall in it?

Tiny tale

_ Please don't leave me! - the girl cried with a pleading voice and a raising hand. The wind blew her hair as it pushed a small tear hidding in the corner of her eye to her right cheek.
He took a step toward her and gently wiped the tear from her face. She knew she'd lose him again, and still, it was painful evertytime. She wished he could stay and hold her, console her; but whenever he left there was only emptiness. Why would she rely on him so much? Why would she feel so incomplete without him?

He looked at her once again, but his eyes weren't warm or caring. He was numb. Cold, as he always was when it ended. Like he had never been there. Like he couldn't see her anymore. She felt broken, every little piece falling apart as he turned his back and walked away.

Then that same woman came. Slowly and firmly, a compassionate smile on her pale face. She was always there when he wasn't. She was always watching.

_Why did you come? Isn't it enough suffering to see him leave? Why do you bother on keeping me this miserable company? - the girl asked rageously.

The woman didn't step back. She just sat there on the empty chair, waiting. Looking sad and resigned. And, in her whispering voice, answered:

_I will always be here. No matter how many times you meet him, no matter how many times others are around. I was there when you were born and will be there when you die. Everything else is an illusion. I'm the only one you can count on.

The girl sighed as a sign of agreement. She knew the woman was right. Love was only there for brief moments, but Loneliness... she had her pemanent place. Even when she couldn't be seen, she was there. Always would be.

The girl went to the door, and Loneliness followed.