Test your youth...

You know you're getting old when:

• The places you used to go and were so much fun are now filled with faces that, for some reason, seem to make you feel way too mature;
• You can't use the students discounts because you jumped into a different age group;
• All your "party" friends are suddenly too busy working and comitting to different things to even think about going out. And they disapprove you when you do with a sentence that includes the word "immature";
• Your wardrobe is full of vintage clothes, but they were really bought as new trend;
• A young stranger in the street calls you madam, lady or such;
• Everybody's talking about Demi's relationship with some Joe guy and you wonder if it's that actress from Ghost and who that Joe is;
• Half your friends or acqaintances are having babies and getting married;
• YOU are having a baby or getting married;
• You start using the expression "in my time" or "in my youth";
• You actually think today's youth is "lost".

If one or more of these items applies to you, let's face it: you're getting old!

Feelings and fears

The hasty wind waggles the trees, singing its sorrow. People lift the collar of their coats and jackets as its wintry arms embraces everything outside.

But in here I can only hear the silence. This belligerent silence sweeps away any signs of life... any thoughts of my own.

Everyday I open my eyes to the same walls. Everyday I wish the strenght to build a better prospective. But nothing ever changes, not really. It gets easier to hurt me each day, easier to pull out tears from my tired eyes. And this silence inside only grows to it...........

I should be happy. I should be exhilarated to know you are a part of me. And there are moments when I really do feel that way. But most of the time... I'm just lonely. Alone in this experience.

I don't recognize myself in the mirrors, I don't own my dreams. I don't belong to me anymore.

You try to remind me you're here, jumping and moving to my heartbeats. How could I forget?

I know you need me. From now on I have to be there for you no matter what; I know that too.

I just hope this wrecked person will suffice those expectations. And that this void, this lack of will, can be supplanted by the love that should've been here in the first place.

Rainy soul

A chuva está parando. O som dos trovões e das gotas melancólicas nas janelas deu lugar ao assobio dos pássaros. O chão ainda está molhado; as ruas vazias testemunham a rápida tormenta que chegou e se foi sem maior aviso. Rápida, muito rápida. Quase como se não houvesse sido.

A luz espia por entre o branco lençol de nuvens, que não têm um amigo vento que as leve a outras cercanias. Talvez hoje veja um arco-íris...

Mas queria que a água continuasse a cair! Que se precipitasse sobre as árvores e calçadas mantendo todos num forçado resguardo. Queria que durasse um pouco mais, só algo mais... Assim minha solidão teria companhia.

Em vez disso o sol vai secando os últimos vestígios do que aconteceu há apenas alguns momentos. Parece dizer que não mereço esse consolo, e inclusive pressinto seu sorriso ao observar meu conformado desalento. Condenando-me a estar só, perdida dentro de mim. Nem o tempo é solidário.

Hoje precisava me expressar no meu próprio idioma... e mesmo este me parece estrangeiro.