Almost a haiku

A red umbrella

moves silently through the crowd;

solitude in motion.

Editing and blood

I want to open an editorial. I mean, how hard can it be? Everybody thinks is a writer, nowadays, so the amount of people wanting to publish would be huge.

Besides, all I'd have to do to get readers buying the books would be selling about vampires or similarities. It seems only by saying "bloodsucker" you already have a few thousands of fans. I've read quite a few vampire books myself (yes, shame on me), so I know what I'm talking about: most of them have very bad writing. I could do a lot better if I wrote myself, and that's saying a lot on how bad the writing is. How can I see the holes and mistakes on those texts and their editors can't? Isn't that their job or something? Sometimes I even get mad when I see the s#%&@ that gets to be published and sold. I understand someone has an idea and wants to write a book about it, but I don't understand how it gets edited and is still crap. It actually bothers me. I know it's stupid, but I can't help it.

So, yes, I'm seriously thinking about an editorial of my own. Or maybe, even easier, I'll just write a vampires book. And not in my native language, no: in English, because apparently you don't need much of a vocabulary to sell that. Hell, make it vampires and teenagers, and then I'll have a best seller for sure...

Social being

So, I always think about why it is so hard for me to bond with people.

In a way I don't care, most of the time. It keeps me safe from mediocrity. Everybody knows I'm a little "special", strange, hard to approach. So before people try to get to know me, they just give up. I repel them.

I used to think I'm shy. When I'm in the middle of people I don't know, it's extremely difficult for me to act normal. But then I realized it happens also when it's people I've known for a while, depending on who those people are. I admit sometimes I don't even try; I mean, not everybody is really worth talking to. In those cases I put on my "don't even bother" face and ignore whoever is there. It's not nice, I know... But I don't really feel guilty.

The problem begins when I do want to talk. Or when everybody is being social and saying those things people say to keep a nice and empty conversation, and I simply can't do it. I try, it's just I end up saying stuff that in my head sound normal, but only get these "what the hell is she saying?" looks from everyone. I usually don't understand why it happens and decide to shut up. There are also times when I stay in the room so absent minded I don't catch half of the sentences that are said to me. In my denfense I'll say it's not always voluntary...

Bottomline is:

• I don't like most people (but I'm sure they are capable of being nice even when they dislike each other...);
• whenever I try to mingle I seem even weirder than I already do;
• I find it really hard to pretend being interested in a conversation when I'm not and say the "right things" everybody says so easily.

No, I'm not shy... not really. The more I think about it, the more I understand it: I just lack social skills. Somehow my learning in that matter wasn't complete.

Now what?

Up all night... Baby has a cold.

Little beings shouldn't have to suffer! To see her crying, unable to breath, sleepy and desperate to rest, makes me feel useless. Breaks my heart, literally. And she still has a whole life ahead....

Oh, hell.

Time, time, time...

Ah, 2011.... You're here already. Didn't see you coming...

Actually, time makes no sense to me anymore. Everyday feels like a year, and a year goes by in a second... I'm pretty sure Einstein borrowed the idea for his theory from a mother. Only a woman watching her baby grow by the minute could fully understand it.

And then you realize time is such an abstract concept!

No kidding....

"If you can't stop Windexing everything in sight or you have a sudden desire to rearrange your linen closet again, then you're officially nesting. Nesting is the phenomena where exhausted and very pregnant women suddenly find the energy and the drive to clean like their life depends on it.

Though many women think "nesting" is a wives' tale, it's actually not the stuff of urban legend, and many women get the powerful urge to ready their home for the impending arrival in the final weeks of pregnancy. (Kind of makes you wish nature had the forethought to send that urge to your partner every now and then, doesn't it?)

Now's a good time to make sure your nursery is clean and ready for baby to spit and poop all over it. Spend some of that extra nesting energy stocking up on baby needs like diapers and wipes. You really don't need to be polishing the silver right now.

Even if you're feeling super-energetic, make sure to get enough rest. You'll need your strength for labor and beyond."

http://3dpregnancy.parentsconnect.com/calendar/37-weeks-pregnant.html

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